What is your definition of failure? Really, be honest with yourself. How do you feel when you fail and what exactly does ‘failure’ entail for you?
Alright… if you’ve given it some thought, maybe even written it down, you will be able to see if your definition of failure is similar to the ideas in this blog post or not. It will also make it easier for you to understand how to bend it to your advantage 😉
What is Failure?
Failure is a beautiful process of life defined in our own minds. The definition of failure is subjective in a lot of ways because you decide whether a certain outcome of a situation is classed as ‘failure.’
You are always in power to decide whether the consequence of a situation will block you or make you reassess the bigger picture and areas that could use some improvement.
Using ‘failure’ as a lesson can give you a healthy boost, to do better next time.
You can view failure in those two ways, which will be elaborated on below. But to quickly cover them: 1) You failed at achieving something after working really hard for it/you felt like you did. 2) You did not achieve something because you didn’t put any effort or necessary intention towards it.
How can I get Over Failure?
One thing to do when you feel like you have ‘failed’ at something is to ask yourself: Did I work for this? If yes, Did I work the right way? Was my approach the right one? If not, how could you have done it better and how will you do it in future?
After really trying to answer these questions you can further question; Was this opportunity for me? In my life right now, would I have been mentally ready to receive this and maintain it?
If not, then maybe the goal you thought you wanted just manifested itself into you life so that in the process you would learn something about yourself or your life.
Life is full of beautiful lessons. Failure is the teacher, harsh but needed.
That being said, you could have situations where you’ve worked the right way towards something and achieved it. Even to your surprise! Now you feel excited and nervous at the same. Situations like this feel amazing! Feeling complete, like your hard work has really paid of.
On the other hand, sometimes people may work the right way without believing they will achieve their goal and when they do achieve it, they panic.
If you prepare yourself for failure you might as well prepare yourself for success because if you apprehend both your thought and work process will probably favor the latter.
Can the Fear Of Success hinder your progress?
When I’d first heard about the “fear of success” I rolled my eyes in disbelief asking myself; How can you fear achieving the thing(s) you desire?
But it’s real.
The fear of success is a short phrase to describe an individual who works (or not) towards a dream or goal of theirs but never puts in that final push to seal the deal and achieve. They do this in fear of either; the workload, achieving their dream and losing their purpose or that their dream will not be as great as they wish, fearing disappointment.
It’s almost like failing themselves and their dreams…
A bit like the Crystal Shop Owner in the book Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo. If you were one of the characters in that story would you be Santiago or the Crystal shop owner?
Classifying Failure into 2 Meanings:
- Failing after trying
Have you felt the quiet devastating emotion you feel after under-achieving or not attaining a goal you had set out for yourself? Worked really hard for it, but the result was less than expected?
You could interpret this in two way, which will ultimately coincide…
Maybe your method of work/ approach to that goal was wrong, remember, quality over quantity. Another thing could be that this goal was not meant to be attained, a lesson much more valuable than the result you desired was its purpose for coming into your life.
For example, Sarah Blakely failed her LSATs twice but became the founder of her own company Spanx.
2. Failing after not trying
You can’t expect a car to run to the best of its ability on an empty tank. If you have had a desire to obtain or gain something for a long time but have not invested the required effort be honest and stop looking for external forces to blame for your own unfulfilled feelings.
But don’t beat yourself up about it, get back up, learn from the experience and do better.
You are able to achieve anything you put your mind to. Have you heard this saying growing up? Mostly from our teachers in school, parents or even friends at times.
What does it really mean? How do you put your mind to achieve something in the material world? There is no blueprint or hard-core guide to this as the journey is your own to take but there are things to help you along the way.
That topic is worthy of a whole other blog post which will be posted on this blog in a few days, stay tuned!